A Season for Reaching Out

A reflection on friendship, compassion, and second chances.

Years ago, I came down with a terrible case of the flu while living on the 23rd floor of an apartment building in Manhattan. I remember gazing out my window at the people hurrying along the sidewalk below. They looked so normal – rushing to work, doing errands, carrying shopping bags. None of them seemed sick or miserable. I wondered if they realized how lucky they were to simply walk down the street feeling fine.

Then another thought hit me: maybe they weren’t fine. Maybe the woman in the red coat had just finished a long night caring for an elderly parent. Maybe the man in a suit was dealing with a breakup or worrying about a child. I couldn’t know what anyone was carrying inside. That realization has stayed with me ever since – the truth that we rarely see the full weight of someone else’s struggles.

Even within our own families and friendships, invisible battles often play out quietly. When a longtime friend suddenly stopped returning my calls, I was hurt and confused. My husband suggested she was probably dealing with something personal, but I couldn’t help feeling cast aside. Maybe I should have reached out again asked if she was okay – but my ego got in the way. I didn’t want to be the one chasing after a friendship that seemed to mean more to me than to her.

It’s easy to walk away and tell ourselves there was nothing we could do. But sometimes, that’s just not true.

A few years later, I found myself in a painful argument with my nieces, not long after their mother – my sister – passed away. Emotions ran high, and for a while, we barely spoke. Then a friend asked me a question that stopped me cold: “Do you really want to be one of those families who says, ‘We had a falling out, and we just don’t talk anymore?’”

The answer was no. So, I picked up the phone. We had the hard conversation – the one where everyone’s voice trembles a little and nobody feels entirely comfortable. I explained how I’d felt hurt; they opened up about their grief. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. That conversation brought us closer and reminded me that love can be found on the other side of pain.

I sometimes think too many relationships – friendships, marriages, family bonds – end not because they’re broken, but because we never learned how to have those uncomfortable talks. We let silence take over, and we call it closure.

If there’s someone you’ve lost touch with – someone who still crosses your mind – maybe it’s time to reach out. After all, it’s the holiday season. Send a message. Make the call. You might not get a perfect resolution, but you might just find your way back to something that matters – something stronger, kinder, and more forgiving than before.

So the next time you find yourself staring out the proverbial window, thinking everyone else is doing just fine, remember – you don’t know the whole story. So why not ask?

Susan Rosser is the editor of South Florida Family Life. She raised two children in South Florida and is grateful she never had to buy them winter coats.