Let Gratitude Lift You Above Any Attitude 

As parents, when we think of everything we’re grateful for, our kids generally make the top of the list. That said, when your kids are begging you to make the snack that you are in the middle of making, or when you notice the “creative” way in which they’ve taken a ballpoint pen to the couch cushions… that river of gratitude suddenly dries right up. We’ve all been there.  

With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought it might be helpful to “reframe” the way we view our kids’ shenanigans (e.g. tendency to act like kids who, by nature, possess underdeveloped brains). There’s still much to be grateful for, even when your kid is a millimeter away from destroying your last nerve. 

Scenario 1. 

You ask your daughter to find her shoes. Instead, she stares at her coloring book as if in a trance. You stand two inches from her face and say, “I’m talking to you. It’s time to find your shoes. We are leaving in five minutes.” She ignores you. Using your flight attendant’s voice, you ask “Can you hear me?” She nods subtly. A couple of minutes later, you tell her to put down her coloring book and get her shoes on. She tells you OK but remains glued to said coloring book. When she looks up again, you’re grabbing your purse and keys and saying through gritted teeth, “I’m not going to tell you again. Get your shoes on. It’s time to go.” 

Through sobs, she proclaims, “I’m in the middle of something.” 

Be grateful for: Your child’s capacity to focus. Bonus: She might put her superior power of concentration to use when selecting your nursing home. 

Scenario 2. 

Your child is asking you for a snack. You tell her she’s going to have to wait a minute because you’re in the middle of something. She responds by telling you exactly what kind of snack she’d like. “I need Goldfish,” she informs you. She continues, “The cheddar kind. And they need to be in the purple ramekin.” You thought you had a 5-year-old, not a rock star. With maple syrup in your voice, you look at her and say, “What would be a nicer way to ask?” Matching your saccharine request, she responds, “Can I please have cheddar Goldfish in the purple ramekin? And also, I want more than my sister. Please.” 

Be grateful for: Your child’s ability to know what she wants. This child will not need you to call her professor or landlord on her behalf 20 years from now. 

Scenario 3. 

You’re ready to leave the park. Your child is not. She’s creating a castle out of gravel using her hands and her shoe. Your stomach is rumbling. Lunchtime is rapidly closing in. Why isn’t your child hungry, you wonder? As you approach her though, you notice the wild look in her eye. She is hungry indeed. “Let’s go!” you say. “NOOOOO!” she says. You offer macaroni and cheese for lunch. She doesn’t budge. In just a few minutes, you will be carry-dragging her to the car with her shoe tucked awkwardly under your arm and strapping her into her car seat like it’s a straight-jacket. 

Be grateful for: Your kid’s ability to be fully present in each moment. She’s not checking her texts or her social media notifications, yet. She’s really living, man. 

There is always something to be grateful for if you look hard enough. As parents, it’s important to remember, how you view a situation depends on where you stand (and, of course, how loudly your kid is whining). 

Pam Moore, an award-winning freelance writer, shares ways to give thanks and gobble up gratitude this holiday season.