Published: August 5, 2025
By: Shannon Dean
When you are parenting on an empty tank, here are some ways to recharge and refuel
Modern parenting has become more than a full-time job. Today’s parents are not only working longer hours at paid employment, but they are also performing plenty of unpaid tasks like raising children, managing a household, and sometimes, caring for aging loved ones.
Parents who are feeling overwhelmed may not be surprised to know that recent studies have outlined an alarmingly high prevalence of unprecedented parental stress. But what is less discussed is how deeply this stress can affect an entire household. That’s why experts emphasize prioritizing realistic self-care, not just for the parents’ well-being, but for the health of the entire family.
Today’s parents are stretched to their limits. In an advisory by the former U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, it was noted that parental stress has reached unprecedented levels. The advisory found that 41 percent of parents said that they “can’t function most days due to stress,” and 48 percent said they feel “completely overwhelmed.”
As both a physician and a parent, Dr. Murthy called for greater systemic support for families, emphasizing: “Parents and caregivers are the backbone of our communities. But too many are stretched to their limits, and that has real consequences for families and for our country…Simply put, caregivers need care, too.”
When parents suffer, kids do too. Research underscores the ripple effect of parental stress on children and families. A 2021 study found that children were twice as likely to suffer from behavioral, developmental, or mental health challenges when their primary caregiver was struggling.
A 2024 study mirrored these findings, noting that “parental stress predicts emotional/behavioral problems in school-age children.”
Unique pressures on parents. On top of being stretched thin, today’s parents face intense emotional pressures, ranging from fears about school safety and growing concerns over their children’s mental health to constant self-doubt fueled by unrealistic parenting standards. Dr. Mari Kurahashi notes, “There’s a lot of pressure and a feeling that, if we don’t do these things perfectly, we may be responsible for damaging our children or for our children not reaching their full potential.”
The pain of parental burnout. Experts warn that unchecked parental burnout can create deep feelings of shame, isolation and anxiety. Life coach Christine Anastasia explains the consequences this way: “Today’s working parents are more overwhelmed than ever, burdened with guilt and unrealistic expectations that they should have everything figured out.”
What parents can do. No parent wants their stress to affect their kids and make their household an unhealthy place. Experts say there are simple things you can do to help lighten the load. Here are some:
- Lower the Bar
Many parents are stuck in cycles of perfectionism, amplified by social media’s picture-perfect portrayals. But Dr. Becky Kennedy, author of Good Inside: A Guide To Becoming The Parent You Want To Be, suggests shifting your focus. She notes, “Instead of focusing on perfection, turn your focus to growth. Growth shows us that what we are doing has an impact, that what we are doing matters.”
- Delegate Small Stressors
Professor of psychology Moïra Mikolajczak says that although you can’t always delegate important tasks like family obligations and emotional labor, you can rethink small stressors that add up, sap your energy and frustrate you. She explains, “One has to remember there are many stressors tipping the scale.” She suggests delegating tasks that someone else can do and then modifying your expectations.
- Audit Your Family’s Time and Energy
Extracurricular activities can be fun and enriching, but watch out that you don’t overextend so much that the activities feel like one more thing on your to-do list. Child psychiatrist Dr. Ellen Broughton explains, “We buy into this idea that our kids have to be involved in so much to be successful, but there’s no real data that this is true.”
- Maintain A Support System
Social media might give the illusion of connection, but nothing beats personal interactions for mental health. Loneliness and isolation can make burnout feel worse. Licensed clinical psychologist Cara Goodwin suggests fitting connection into existing tasks, explaining, “Even though it is challenging for a busy parent to even find time, try to build connection into your everyday routines – talk to a friend on the phone while you fold laundry.”
- Rethink Self-Care
We all know that we need to practice self-care, but sometimes, that feels indulgent and unrealistic. However, some experts stress that the benefits of self-care are far-reaching and therefore worth being non-negotiable.
Dr. Bernadette Melnyk explains, “Parents do a great job caring for their children and everybody else, but they often don’t prioritize their own self-care. If children see their parents taking good self-care, the chances are they’re going to grow up with that value. It has a ripple effect on the children and the entire family.”
- Recharge In Small Ways
It’s tempting to think that you don’t have the time or money to practice self-care, but you can do it within the routine and budget you already have. Licensed clinical psychologist Cara Goodwin suggests, “Think about what you already do in a day and where you can add joy or peace. For example, listen to an audiobook or a meditation app during your commute to work, or go for a walk with your family after dinner instead of watching TV.”
With the start of the new school year approaching, it can be easy to get caught up in all that needs to be done before, during and after the first bell rings, but it’s important to remember that it’s an exciting time for you – and your children – to celebrate.
In this month’s issue of South Florida Family Life, you will find a roundup of local Back to School Bashes for families to gear up for a great year ahead.
- Be Kind To Yourself
Parental guilt and worry are real, but they don’t serve you. Experts suggest being gentle with yourself and treating yourself with the same kindness you give your children since being overcritical undermines your well-being.
Psychotherapist Niro Feliciano advises parents to stop “should-ing” themselves and to “accept that you truly are doing the best you can on any given day and making the best decisions given what you know at that time.”
Healing begins at home. Although recent studies strongly suggest that modern parents are struggling, the path to resilience and healing can begin at home, with small, realistic expectations, cultivated connection and small acts of self-care.
Quick, Free, and Obtainable Self-Care Ideas
Music Retreat. Grab some earbuds and pick one song that always lifts your mood. Listen while doing chores like folding laundry or doing dishes, guilt-free.
Walk It Out. Even a short walk around the block can reset your nervous system and calm you down. Even better, listen to some music or your favorite podcast while walking.
Half an Hour Screen Break. Take 30 minutes to set down your phone and replace scrolling with a cup of tea, stretching or just daydreaming.
Presence Journal. Think of one thing you were present or grateful for today. Jot it down somewhere to uplift your spirits when you need it.
Create One Daily 5-Minute Ritual. Think of a relaxing activity you enjoy that you can repeatedly slip into your day. It may be listening to birds, watching the sunset or reflecting.
Text a Friend. Sometimes, there is no time for a full conversation, but you can still text someone and tell them you are thinking of them to maintain a small connection.
Shannon Dean is a freelance writer and the mother of two. She specializes in writing about families and women’s health.