Tips for a Successful School Year

Setting Your Student Up for Success from Kindergarten to High School

Preparing your child for kindergarten

Few moments are more exciting to children than the first day of kindergarten – the day they officially become “big kids.” How do you prepare them for that moment and everything they’re supposed to learn in kindergarten? Here’s what the experts say: Teach Independence: Kids are expected to be able to do many things independently by the time they start kindergarten. Tracy Galuski, a professor of early childhood development and education, says kids should be able to dress themselves (including shoes), use the bathroom on their own, wash their hands, unpack their lunch, and wipe their faces after eating. It’s a good idea to spend the summer practicing those skills.

Assign Chores: Giving kids household chores is one way to make your children more independent and autonomous. Charity Ferreira of GreatSchools, an education think tank, says parents should give their kids chores like setting the table before dinner, folding clothes and tidying up. “These types of activities,” Ferreira says, “will automatically transfer over into the classroom and help your child feel successful and comfortable.”

Build Self-Confidence: Dr. Amie Bettencourt, a child psychologist, says that parents can make their kids more self-confident by demystifying kindergarten and explaining what they can expect will take place. She suggests that parents spend time before kindergarten starts talking to their kids about what the school day will be like.

Organize Playdates: Many schools distribute class contact lists before the school year begins. If you receive such a list, set up playdates during the summer with some of your kids’ future classmates. That way, they’ll see familiar faces on the first day of school. “A lot of what makes kindergarten a tough transition,” Ferreira says, “is that kids suddenly find themselves in a big group all day long. The more social skills kids have, the easier it will be for them to concentrate on learning.”

Create Routines: In kindergarten, kids are expected to be able to follow the school routine. Prepare them for that by creating a home routine that you clearly explain. Ferreira says, “Following a consistent routine – and pointing out parts of the routine to your child – helps your child know what to expect and when. This will help your child transition to the school routine.” She suggests that parents create a fixed schedule for bedtime and a time to wake up. Bettencourt adds that the nightly routine should include a predictable order of activities: “take a bath, put on pajamas, brush teeth, read a story or sing a song, and get a goodnight hug or kiss.”

Acknowledge Feelings: While preparing your kids for all the exciting new things they’ll learn in kindergarten, acknowledge any unease they may experience. Melanie Dale, the author of several books on parenting, says that parents should let their kids express their feelings: “If they say they’re nervous, rather than say, ‘Don’t be nervous,’ ask them why they’re nervous and validate that feeling. Share a time when you were nervous and how it worked out.”

Setting the Stage for First-Grade Success

First grade is a big milestone in most kids’ lives. The academic journey they began in kindergarten is continuing in new directions. How do you prepare your kids for first grade? Here’s what the experts say:

Promote Self-Reliance: One of the biggest differences between kindergarten and first grade is that kids are expected to become increasingly self-reliant. You can help with that by letting them take more risks and learn from their mistakes. “If there’s a new task to accomplish,”

Amanda Morin, senior expert for Understood, a nonprofit that supports people with learning and thinking differences, says “wait as long as possible before stepping in to help, and always reward the effort, not just the success.” Morin says that “reinforcing the ‘you can do it’ approach at home will help your child be more comfortable with their new responsibilities at school.” For example, if you want to teach your kids how to water the houseplants, don’t rake them over the coals when the water overflows. Thank them for trying and encourage them to use a little less water next time.

Create Home Routines: Promote self-reliance by creating home routines for kids. “If a child knows that every morning when they get up they follow a particular routine for getting ready,” says Donna Adkins of GreatSchools, an education think tank, “then they can soon do it themselves. In the evening, if your child knows the bedtime routine is to take a bath, brush teeth, read a story and get into bed, then not only is it easier to get them into bed, but it’s easier for the child to do it independently.” To help your kids with their routines, create a “to-do chart” with pictures which they should review on their own.

Help With Homework: First-graders are expected to become increasingly self-reliant regarding homework. You can support your kids by giving them a good study environment, which includes a well-lit, comfortable, and quiet workspace with all the necessary supplies. Make yourself available to explain instructions, offer guidance, answer questions and review the completed work. However, resist the urge to provide the correct answers or complete assignments yourself. “Learning from mistakes is part of the process,” say the experts at KidsHealth, a health news site, “and you don’t want to take this away from your child.” Give your kids the chance to learn from their mistakes with their homework. It’ll make them more self-reliant.

Build Self-Confidence: Sometimes, kids are anxious about starting first grade; this is especially true when they’re moving to a different school other than the one where they attended kindergarten. To reduce their anxiety and make them more self-confident, bring them with you to the annual school orientation. As child psychologist Dr. Amie Duncan says, first-graders are often anxious about such practical things as “how to get to the bathroom, where to eat lunch, or how to get to a locker.” If there’s no formal school orientation, contact their teacher and ask if it would be okay if you dropped by for an informal visit. Another possibility is to (video) call the teacher and include your kids on the call.

Transitioning Smoothly into Middle School

The leap from elementary to middle school is a substantial juncture on the path to success. Kids go from being, well, kids to becoming adolescents with all that entails. How do you prepare them for the academic and social challenges of middle school? Here’s what the experts say:

Visit The School: Going to middle school often means starting at a new and unfamiliar school, and that can make any kid anxious. Alicia Trautwein, a parenting coach and author of the popular blog “The Mom Kind,” suggests easing the transition by prioritizing a visit to the school with your kids on back-to-school night. She suggests kids explore the school on their own by having them walk around with a schedule so that they can find their classes and explore outside to get a feel for the area. “By helping them get comfortable with the school hallways, classrooms and environment,” Trautwein says, “they can be more prepared for the transition.”

Develop Organization Skills: In middle school, the day suddenly gets much more complex than what they’ve been used to in elementary school. There are many more courses, taught by different teachers, and often in classrooms in different areas of the building. This requires good organization skills. Marion Wilde of Great Schools, an education think tank, goes so far as to say that “organization is the key to middle-school success.” How can you help your kids organize themselves better? The experts at KidsHealth, suggest that parents buy binders, folders and notebooks for each class, teach their kids how to use a personal planner, and encourage them to make daily to-do lists of assignments.

Help With Homework: Homework is much more demanding in middle than in elementary school; kids are often expected to do one to two hours of homework every day. Experts agree that parents should encourage their kids to take ownership of their assignments. Wilde suggests that parents ask lots of questions as a way of guiding their kids: “Where do you think you should begin? What do you need to do next? Can you describe how you’re going to solve this problem? What did you try that didn’t work? What did you try that did work?” Cynthia Tobias and Sue Acuna, co-authors of Middle School: The Inside Story, agree that parents should act more like consultants who ask probing questions than as authority figures ready to offer the solution: “If your child’s grades slip, ask questions to find out why it’s happening and help him think through a plan to correct the problem.”

Deal With Friends: In middle school, kids often start to develop deep and intimate friendships, and as with all relationships, these friendships sometimes go sour. How do you help your kids deal with friendship issues? Two of the best approaches are: 1) be emotionally available for your kids, and 2) help them to brainstorm possible solutions. Michelle Icard, author of Middle School Makeover and many other parenting books, says that sometimes the best approach is simply to be there for your kids ready to listen to whatever they have to say: “Your reassuring presence in their lives might just be enough.” Ms. Tobias and Acuna add that parents should let their kids know that they’ll always be there for them: “At this age, what they want from you is what you want from a friend or a spouse: to be listened to, understood and taken seriously.”

If the issue is more serious and/or your kids are troubled by it, try to help them find possible solutions. Just as with homework, however, don’t try to solve their issues but instead help them come up with solutions. “Running into friendship trouble can make tweens feel helpless,” Icard says, “but coming up with personal solutions is a great way to restore feelings of capability and confidence.”

It’s So High School: Equipping your teen for challenges 

By the time they reach high school, your kids are no longer kids but they’re not yet adults either: they occupy a unique middle ground we call the teenage years. How do you prepare your teens for all the academic and social challenges of high school? Here’s what the experts say:

Orientation: One of the best things you can do is to prioritize visiting their new school during open house or new student orientation. As Michael Zwiers, a professor of educational psychology, says, “Familiarity helps to reduce anxiety.” The experts at KidsHealth add that high schoolers should familiarize themselves with all the essential parts of their new school, including the main office, the various administrative offices and the school nurse.

Explain School Expectations: You can make your teens less anxious by explaining how high school differs from middle school. Dr. Karmen Russell, a child psychologist, suggests that parents introduce their teens to the frequent changes in classes throughout the day, and help them plan their day by studying the physical layout of the school together: “If your child can begin to imagine what their first few weeks at high school might look like, this may help with the anxiety that can accompany the transition.”

Teach Them Organization: As in middle-school, success in high school largely depends on how organized your kids are. They have many courses, taught by teachers with different styles, and the workload is often heavy and challenging. “Learning and mastering the skills of getting organized, staying focused and seeing work through to the end,” the experts at KidsHealth say, “will help teens in just about everything they do.” They suggest that parents keep their teens organized with binders, folders, and notebooks for each course, a calendar with all upcoming deadlines, and a daily to-do list of assignments.

Self-Directed Learners: Unlike organization, experts agree that parents should take a much more hands-off approach to homework. As Amanda Morin, senior expert for Understood, a nonprofit that supports people with learning and thinking differences, pointedly says, “if the last time you studied pre-calculus was when you were in high school, you probably won’t be of much use when your teen has questions.” Kris Bales, an educational curriculum reviewer, adds that high-schoolers should take responsibility for their own education; they’re supposed to be what she calls “self-directed learners.”

Manage The Stress: High school can be stressful – the academics are hard, and so is the pressure to fit in socially. If academics are the primary worry for your teens, help them create a schedule that includes ample time for homework as well as friends. Conversely, if your teen is concerned about making new friends, remind them of all the times they successfully made friends in the past.

Create Support Networks: Another way to help teens manage stress is to encourage them to create support networks of adults and other teens. This could include an older sibling, an extended family member, as well as a teacher, school counselor, or perhaps even their pediatrician – whomever your teens are comfortable talking to. Zwiers recommends that peers also be included in the network. If your teens have friends who’ll attend the same high school, they should consider traveling to school together in the morning and/or meeting up before school or during lunch. “This will give them the opportunity to share and compare experiences – essentially normalizing what they’re going through, while brainstorming solutions to challenges they might be facing,” says Zwiers.