
Published: July 27, 2023
By: Kimberly Blaker
Ah, the daily grind! It’s like being stuck in a continuous loop of dishes, cooking, cleaning and a never-ending pile of laundry.
As summer bids us farewell and school is just around the corner, it’s time to summon our inner cheerleaders and get those kids back into the swing of things. Why, you ask? Well, besides giving them a taste of responsibility and a sense of accomplishment, it’s an opportunity to witness the incredible spectacle of children attempting to fold laundry without turning it into an origami disaster.
By offering a variety of household responsibilities, kids feel essential to the family unit. It teaches them necessary skills, acceptance of responsibility and self-discipline. Ultimately, it builds their self-esteem and increases their chances for a successful, fulfilling life.
Whether to compensate and reward kids for their work is a difficult question. Conflicting opinions are held by child specialists, which doesn’t help. But one thing is sure, experiencing self-satisfaction from work is essential. Even adults receive compensation for their work. In turn, they reward themselves in many ways from shopping and eating out to buying recreational toys and taking vacations.
So your best bet is to take a middle-of-the-road approach. Assign your kids some responsibilities without reward, such as cleaning their rooms and taking care of personal belongings. This can provide self-satisfaction. But also offer an allowance or provide rewards for additional tasks. Kids learn valuable lessons from earning, such as budgeting and handling money, and they will come to understand that hard work pays off, just as it does in the adult world. Whether your child receives a reward for a particular task or not, always praise the efforts. This helps to reinforce the intrinsic value of completing a task.
When selecting prizes, choose something your child wouldn’t receive otherwise. If you go to the park several times a week, an extra trip to the park won’t seem like much of a reward. But if you usually go only once a week, an additional visit will be more enticing.
For toddlers and preschoolers, immediate rewards are essential. Offer to go to the ice cream store or park, play a favorite game together or have a friend over. You can also buy prizes that come in a set, such as markers, and then offer one piece for each completed task until your child has earned the complete set.
Elementary kids can save for bigger rewards. Use a chart and offer prizes for accumulated stars. But don’t make your child wait more than a week or so for an award. Otherwise, the reward will lose its motivational value. Rewards for elementary-age children might include additional TV or computer time, a trip to the zoo or museum, baking together, having a friend overnight or a new toy.
Older kids can accumulate points for more extended periods and begin to look toward long-term rewards. Teens might want to collect points for several weeks to earn a concert ticket, amusement park trip, new outfit, or special privileges like staying out later or additionalphone time.
Age-Appropriate Chores
Toddlers and preschoolers are more capable than we realize. In these early years, children should take on household tasks. But their attention span is short at this age. So keep chores brief when assigning them to little ones unless the chores
are especially fun. Your preschooler can:
- Set the table
- Rinse dishes
- Empty wastebaskets
- Vacuum (with a small vacuum)
- Frost cakes and cookies
- Sort out dirty clothes
- Put clothes in drawers
- Pick up toys
- Stack books
- Answer the phone
- Get the mail
- Water flowers
- Dust
Elementary-age kids are more coordinated and capable of performing better-quality
work. In addition to the previous items,
your elementary-age child can:
- Help pack lunches
- Load the dishwasher
- Wash windows
- Fix breakfast
- Clean bathroom sinks
- Fold laundry
- Run their own bath
- Clear off the dinner table
- Pack their own suitcase
- Feed and walk pets
- Vacuum the car
- Take out trash cans
- Care for younger siblings
- Prepare microwave foods (with an adult at home)
Kids in middle school and beyond can learn nearly any task. During the teen years, introduce new tasks periodically so your adolescent can master all skills. Your teen can:
- Clean tubs and toilets
- Set up a garage sale
- Fix dinner
- Make a grocery list
- Grocery shop
- Pump gas
- Do laundry and ironing
- Mow the lawn
- Do minor household repairs
- Organize the garage, basement, and closets
- Clean the kitchen, refrigerator, and oven
It’s never too late
If your child is beyond preschool or elementary-age, and you haven’t offered many household responsibilities in the past, don’t despair. While it’s better to start when kids are young, it may be more difficult, but it’s not too late. Make a plan today to set your child or adolescent on a path toward self-reliance. You’ll both be glad you did as you watch your child reap the benefits of growing into an independent, successful young adult.