Senior Moments- “Dating” Again

At the age of 50, and after 27 years of marriage, I’m dating again. Well, not exactly dating. But it feels like dating. I’m ISO a BFF (in search of a best friend forever).

 

My lifelong BFFs — the ones I’ve known since my high school days — live in the Northeast. They have nursed me through everything, from braces to heartbreaks. If I didn’t live a thousand miles away, I’m sure we’d still be meeting every few weeks for drinks.

 

But as a stay-at-home mom, my circle of local gal pals has ebbed and flowed over the past 18 years. Recently, it’s ebbing more than flowing. Many of my “mommy friends” have drifted away, and as I transition back to a freelance-writing career, there’s the final nail in my social coffin: I can’t tap into the built-in communal network of a brick-and-mortar job. So what’s a socially starved middle-aged woman to do?

 

Enter, The Dating Game – Friends Version. No game show host needed this time around, but the same rules still apply: Meet new people; Ask questions; Find a match.

 

Phase I: Get in the Game

For starters, I join a few local groups to dip my toe in the waters. I’m an introvert at heart, so I need a very large pool noodle to keep me afloat in these sink-or-swim social situations. But I’m putting myself out there anyway. I got this!

 

Phase 2: Build Anticipation 

With two active teens, our color-coded family calendar is filled with lots of the boys’ green and red entries. The lone, ironically blue entry: my upcoming dentist appointment. Seriously? That’s the extent of my social engagements? I right this wrong by adding “Mom’s Night Out” in big blue letters — on a weeknight! I’m giddy.

 

Phase 3: Prepare

The night of my “first date” arrives — Bunco night, a few hours of drinks and dice guaranteed to yield more fun than my typical night doing a last-minute load of laundry.

As I anticipate my Big Night Out, I face a first-date dilemma. What should I wear? I want to evoke just the right image so I search my closet for something that doesn’t scream “I-haven’t-been-out-since-the-Friends-finale.” I realize that my clothes can be separated into three categories: Church Service/PTA Meeting, Former Career (dating back to even a few ’80s relics complete with shoulder pads) and Comfortably Casual. Do I own nothing fun and trendy? Apparently not. I opt for a few “timeless” pieces (striped T-shirt and forgettable pants) from my no couture casual collection.

 

Phase 4: Show Up

I arrive at Bunco and do a quick scan of the ladies. OK, good. No one looks like a serial killer. (Of course, two wines later, everybody looks friendly.)

 

As the night progresses, I meet about a dozen women, who — just like me — want to get out of the house and have some fun. We exchange war stories (i.e., strayed career paths, divorces, health issues) with a bit of a filter — we don’t want to get too intimate on a first date. We share appetizers and sip. And we laugh. A lot. 

 

The best part? I score two phone numbers. It looks like I’m going on a second date.