How to remember that you are enough when you feel like your best falls short
Published: June 30, 2021
By: Sarah Lyons
We want to do the best we can when it comes to our kids. A majority of our time and effort goes toward supporting and taking care of our children. We work hard to make sure our kids are happy and healthy.
So why do we often end up feeling like our best efforts still aren’t enough?
Here are some tips that can change your perspective and help you realize that you are enough for your kids.
Stop the comparisons. The biggest trap parents fall into is comparing themselves to others. This is unfair because no two parents are the same, and no family situation or child is the same. What works for you may not work for another family, and each family’s values, dynamics and interests are different. Because of this, comparisons are not worth worrying over. In the age of social media, it can be hard not to think everyone has a picture-perfect life, but it’s important to remember that social media only shows you a picture, often staged and filtered, and is not a true reflection of their daily lives.
Take a reality check. Sometimes we all need to give ourselves a reality check. Remember, all siblings have conflict, all kids throw tantrums, all houses get messy and all parents get tired. Things are never perfect for anyone. It is wise to remember this when you start to get down about a situation that is making you feel like you aren’t enough. Reaching out to a friend, you might find that they too experience similar situations. It is nice to have the camaraderie that comes from knowing that they are experiencing some of the same battles.
Do what you love. Some people are great at interior design, some love craft projects, and others have culinary skills. We may strive to be the best at all of these things to our families, but it usually doesn’t work out that way. Focus on what you love and enjoy those things with your family. There is no reason to beat yourself up over things that you do not enjoy. Sometimes when I feel like my best is not enough, it is because I put too many expectations on myself. I do not enjoy craft projects, so why do I feel the need to do them with my kids? I do enjoy cooking and having my kids help me. If I choose the activity I enjoy more, my kids get quality time with me that we both enjoy. Be honest with yourself about your expectations for your kids and for yourself. Do your best with what you have and enjoy it along the way.
Count your blessings. This is one way to change your perspective from negative to positive. It is so easy to focus on negatives when the great things going on in your life are passing you by. Start by listing five things you value each day. Write them down. When you are feeling down, go back and read them and you will most likely feel an attitude boost in no time.
Remember your child loves you. One of the most important things to remember is that your children love you. Even on days when you are tired, overworked, overlooked, and feel like your best is not enough, your kids will love you anyway. They love spending time with you. They love your gifts and quirks. They may not always act appreciative or show their love in an obvious way, but they do love you.
The consistency, support, and love that you show them every day does not go to waste. It is enough.
Sarah Lyons is a mom and writer who urges parents to give themselves proper credit.
